Huong Viviet

It is a funny thing when a restaurant refuses to take my money.

I should be a bit more specific.  They didn’t want to take my credit card.  No, it isn’t one of those ones where they try to make you pay things yourself through an app (and subject you to service charge for doing their job).  Neither is it a case of them not wanting to accept your physical cash.  No problems with that.  If you don’t have that, it has to be bank transfer.  I am no more suspicious that the average Joe (actually, maybe that is a lie) but I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Now from this introduction, you might think I have a grudge against this place.  Yet like all childish people, I will proclaim loudly that they started it.

They are a widely popular place.  We were lucky to get a walk in seat.  They made that clear.  We were given a seat at the very back next to some dogs.  We were already not in a position of power.

I ordered quickly at the insistence of the waiter.

Starter

Banh Xeo, crispy coconut rice pancake with homemade nuoc cham with chicken.  We were to find out that this pancake was so very definitely homemade.  It was crispy and full of bean sprouts, chicken and crispy lettuce.  You could say it was all that we wanted and more.  So here comes the surprise.  It had home made hair in the food, to give it that signature taste. I know life is hard for restaurants now a days (and that is definitely reflected in their prices) but when health and safety goes down (or perhaps I should say up?) the toilet, that’s not a good sign.

This occasion did make me remember a book that I have been recently to my kids called “dear zoo”.  It talks about the various strange animals that the zoo sends a small child as their pet.  Almost all are unsuitable, so after each reveal, the child states vocally, “I sent them back”.  So this is what I did with this dish.  I sent it back (with less than half eaten, this fact will become important later).  Much profuse apology followed with a promise of a discount.

Mains

Beef and chicken pho.  I find that the sign of an excellent pho is the soup.  Does it have that lingering, pungent taste of cow, almost as if it could punch you in the face?  Using that analogy, the soup here was like an ineffectual toddler slap.  No strength in it.  The soup was one dimensional, the prawn and chicken sad but the noodles were decent.  Let’s say that I was glad I didn’t order this but it was instead my dining companion.

Cha ca la vong, Hanoi’s famous fried fish with turmeric and dill, served with vermicelli noodles and sweet nuoc ham and presented on a sizzling hot plate.

Vermicelli noodles.  The fish was crispy and tasty and the turmeric, dill and onions made for something good.  The sauce for the noodles and the chilli though could have done with some extra strength.  The chilli was on the mild side.  Nonetheless, this was not bad.  Blanking out my memory of the pancake, this was alright.

When the bill came though, I had to revisit my thoughts about this place as it was the gift that kept on giving.  We got a 5% discount and a full bill for the offending pancake.  Gearing up for a fight, I summoned over the waiter to discuss what had happened.  I said I shouldn’t be charged for something which was delivered in voidance of health and safety.  I was accused of returning it after I had eaten all of it.  I counted that I had eaten less than half.  They said that I would get half price off then.

I thought about whether I wanted to continue escalating this situation.  With my more grown up perspective (having kids changes you), I decided it wasn’t worth it.  Trying to avoid drama in my life, we left speedily.  On the way home, I remarked to my fellow diner, that at least this will be a fun review to write.  Although, I would have preferred if they would have completely refused to take my money.  That would be the grown up thing to do.

Score

A quiet eating 3 out of 10.

Dinner (1.5 courses) was GBP20 excluding drinks and service.

Huong Viviet

49 Camberwell Church St.
London SE5 8TR